折れた 淡い翼 君は少し青すぎる空に疲れただけさ or Oreta awai tsubasa Kimi wa sukoshi or in English: Your folded pale wings are just a little tired from the overly blue sky (From Aqua Timez’s “Alones”)

Most of you would recognize this from the Anime Bleach as it was featured in the season 6 (I believe) opening theme song.  The first bit is the Kanji of the song, the next is the Romaji or how the characters translate out audibly, and of course the final is the English translation.  Believe it or not thanks to a very good friend of mine, who shall remain anonymous unless she desires otherwise I own a copy of this particular song on CD.  I can’t thank her enough as there are days when this song lingers in my mind and refuses to depart.


There is a particular line in the song that is actually in English that I find myself contemplating frequently.  This particular lyric caught my attention after the music itself (which was enough for me to love the song).  The lyric will be italicized in the quote I’m about to make and is repeated twice, the italicization is done by me, as no special emphasis is placed on it in the song, other then it being sung in English (note: I’m quoting the English translation found here at JpopAsia):

When you cast your eyes down,
as though sinking, the dry ground slurps up your tears
Why do we feel so alone anytime? You don’t have to take on everything
Why do we feel so alone anytime?
Just putting up with it isn’t courage
~Alones by Aqua Timez

Before I ever read the English translation for this song this part always stood out to me.  Something about the lyrics I guess you could say spoke to me even though they were in a different language then the one I spoke.  This perhaps more then anything holds meaning to me in the song, and while the person who purchased the CD from me (as an import from Japan no less) finds the song to be some what depressing, I find it instead to be somewhat liberating and hopeful.

I frequently find myself feeling some what isolated from the rest of the world… and this is particularly difficult for me to admit to others.  For a very long time due to the nature of what happened to me in the past I felt the need to isolate myself as a form of protection for things that other people did/done/were doing.  As it turns out that has come around to bite me in the bum fairly hard, and now I find myself by and large with a severely limited number of friends and no strong community to belong with.

“Why do we feel so alone anytime?” is a beautiful quote I think since it frequently describes my feelings.  Why do I feel alone when I have the community of Twitch.tv?  Well the answer to that is relatively simple… I don’t really have a community with Twitch, though I am working on it bit by bit.  The people I know from Twitch are valuable to me, however by and large it takes more then just an internet chat for me to really feel a connection that leads to friendship.  Too often I’ve had online friends who just one day.. go silent.

Its because of this very thing that I so often feel alone even though I might be in a group of hundreds of other people watching a cast.  I feel alone because I know at any time any of them could disappear and never be seen again.  In a way feeling alone in that situation is the same as being isolated due to what happened earlier in my life.

I grew up with an older and younger sister both watching and participating in playing games.They (games) were my main outlet for everything from escape to feeling accomplishments, and as my family has split up I’ve lost that.  I guess that’s part of the reason I want a community to play games with now.  I’m looking to regain something that was lost to me in the past.